hi

Long time no post right? i dont have time. sorry :( Uhm hi so its 20  hahahahaha 12 months :) whatever happens , i will never forget this eventhough i have someone new , syahmi azim<33 hahahah i kinda miss everything...but im slowly let go everything...and i did it! thanks ^ hahaahah im so grateful to have someone like syahmi tho. he's my everything. like EVERYTHING. he bring back the happiness. idk i just love him. uhm 2 months already with mie. Haih. i hope sangat sangat kita last longgg. And im happy with my life now. And i wish... MA have a great life too  :) long time i didn't hear stories about him.. i wish he and hes gf happy :))) eventhough im not going to have a guy like MA, ada persamaan pun okay lah kan? Alright im done. Insyaallah if i have time, i will posts something. Amin :))



ps; Please pray that my relationship with mie lasts. Aminnn

9 fucking months

Hey ? So its 20!!! 9 months w MA. ( lol jk its over) can someone tell me how the fuck to move on??? He doesnt even remember!!!! I miss the first month anny he gave me chocolate....take me back to 20 february....... Only Allah knows how i feel rn. I dont want to have feelings anymore.I dont want to care anymore.Do you know how much its hurts me when walk by with ur fucking ugly gf infront me?? YOU ACT LIKE I FCKING DIDNT EXIST THERE, You know i still love you??????????? You promised me you never leave me............what is this shit.I re - read our convo.Its start from "aku,kau' and the you say you start love me...Kill me now.Why are ou doung this to me.............why? Why the fuck you asking for couple if you didnt love me???? why the fuck that you asking for couple if you choose her instead of me??? WHY? One ques ; WHY HER?   You put me through all this shits and i still love you????? ( i love you even more) Whyyy oh whyyy. I fcking cried everynight lah bodo. Im tired ok. I just hate youuuuuuuuuuuuu. But i know i cant. el oh el. I cant forget when everything is so messed up.When everyone blaming me for ruin ur relay ( eventhough i didnt know whats going on) and can you imagine? ur leaving me just like that....ur fcking give up on me lah pukimak. Its just a WEEK since we break up and you already have someone else.WOW just WOW.im done.



                                                                           xoxo ,

                                                                                    Girl that wish she doesnt even have feelings.

Too weak to move on

Um hiiii..? Its been a loooooooooong time i did not update this private blog.Busy with my studies and etc.So yeaaah.Um i miss him.You guys know who right? Yup MA. I miss the way he say he love me , i miss the way he looked at me , i mii the way he say he miss me , i miss the way he smiled , i miss the we meet , i miss the way he talkes , i miss the he smell. I miss everything about him.And , i know.  He doesnt even think of me.He hates me now ;) Its great.Very great. He doesnt look at me anymore.Everything Changes.I cant accept this.Its hurts me.

Note to self ;

Mixed Feelings

Idk aku suppose to Happy or Sad.Um MA cerita kat my friend yg dia and gf dia tak happy.Dia nak break but tak sampai hati.Ummm happy gak kekadang at the same time sedih for dia.Btw , idk why dia follow aku balik kat twitter , instargram.add balik kat facebook.And dia senyum kat I masa kat sekolah :))))) Oh god Allah je tahu betapa aku happy.You know dia sorg je boleh buat akuu happpy sampai camni en.I waited for 3 months weh utk ada balik macam dulu.And here we goo aku rasa macam 20 january againnnnnnnnn.Hes so CUTE mayn.I just cantttt.Tadi ada EYECONTACT dgn dia.yea , lately banyak eyecontact dgn dia.Pastu tetiba flashback semua balik au yg buat aku sedih gak.But overall , dia still not mine right? Hes not coming back.But yea atleast kita contact balik.Please? Aku tak pernah la sia happy macamni after break dgn diaa.Aku rasa tadi macam jantung nak jatuh dah au.Like always masa balik Qusay ejek aku nama dia.Anddddddd dia senyum , selalunya dia ignore je au takpandang aku punnn.Oh gosh aku happy lah siaaaaaaaaaaa.Tolonglah stay je keadaan macamni! Please Allah please ;')

dead

Yea , semua orang taknak mati.Aku je nak.Aku taknak hidup.Life macam taik je.Buat apa hidup? Hati aku gelap. Aku tengah couple dgn orang yang aku tak cinta , tak sayang.Sbb kesian.Skrg ni aku camni ah.accept sbb terpaksa.And deeep deep down inside of my heart sorang je dalam hati aku.MA hanya MA yg boleh buat aku happy balik.

Hi bichachos.

So today is 3rd MAY! emmm like usual.sad as fuck.crying everyday.ahah ncm im strong enough insyallah.so yeah bye! :* Oh anddd exam is around the corneeeeeer.ugh streessss.

Broken Inside...

Eh kau dah ada someone new right ? And nampak kau happpy sangat! Im happy for you! Atleast kau happy kan thats why aku happy gak ;) Eh jaga dia elok elok ok! Takpayah nak mengada cam selalu.HAHAHA okok dah bye!

Here we go again!

Luahan hati again.Aku taktahu kenapa.Berapa banyak lelaki pun aku flirt ,date.Sedalam dalam hati aku.Aku nak kau sorang je.Hanya kau.Aku dah try flirt semua untuk lupakan kau.But takboleh.Benda tu tak berkesan.Its kills me.Aku...................nak mati.Siapa je kisah kalau aku mati? takda siapa.no one.Aku rasa cam biji mata aku nak terkeluar asyik nangis pasal benda yg sama je au. UGH kbye.Ya Allah , tolong lah.Do something.I need to forget all this shit and start new life.I cant wait to move school actually.Buang semua benda.Kenangan kenangan yg ada kat smkt tu.Lagi lagi library , belakang tangga , dpn 4a.Ugh tempat date kita ah kan.Fuck my.Fuck my life actually.Aku taktahu pa akau buat salah sampai allah bagi dugaan kat aku macamni.Im not deserve this.Hm but some people say " IF HE THE RIGHT GUY , HE WONT LEAVE" mmmmmmm ok idk and idc actually.All I want is YOU.only you.But kalau allah bagi lagi satu peluang untuk betulkan semua benda.Aku taknak couple dgn dia.Sbb aku tahu dia tak pernah pun sayang aku.Aku je terlebih syg dia.Sbb tu aku susah gila nak move on.Aku terlalu berharap yg kita forever.Yg dia takkan tinggalkan aku.and now jadi camni ah.still berharap.skrg ni aku flirt dgn lelaki aku dgr ayat " ILOVEYOUFOREVER" TAKKAN TINGGALKAN YOU" aku rasa cam nak muntah atas muka laki tu.semua lelaki sama je.penipu.kau yg buat aku fikir macamni k.I hate you.emm kau tak benci dia weh kau sayang dia.stop pretending.

Move on gal.

Hi.Its 3 months.And im here.Hoping for you to come back.I just miss you.I miss us. This hurts me so bad.Tengok kau tiap tiap hari kat sekolah.Happpppy je kau.Please tell me macamana kau lupakn semua pasal kita? what we've been through? tell me! i need to move on.i neet to stop loving you.i need to stop hoping.Yeah you know kita break MENGEJUT.unexpected.and kita taknak pun benda ni terjadi.but maybe kita tak meant together.yeah I redha with that.I try k.i try to forget you.but takboleh.nampak kau kat sekolah jemcm flash back semua benda au.Aku taktahu apa masalah aku. 20.01.2013.OUR ANNY RIGHT? WEH tak sampai 1 month pun lagi weh.kita janji kita forever right? kau janji kau takkan lepaskan aku.kau janji kau sayang aku sorg je.kau janji kau takkan lupakan aku.kau janji walau apa pun terjadi kita takkan bagi balik nametag kita.tapi kau bagi balik nametag aku.apa ni?????? taik ke apa? fuck la.setiap date ni aku nangis mcm nak mati.aku wish yg aku mati.aku taknak hidup.kau tahu tak sakit sangat hati aku.sakiiiiit! allah je tahu.Why ? kenapa kau buat aku macamni? kenapa kau biar aku hanging macamni? why ?  dah bye.nak nangis.